need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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