Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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