She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.