Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys

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  (210): Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys http://tfl.nu/9bus
  Replies (7) Good night (619) Bad night (1054)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Every day of my life.

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  (513): Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer? (1-513): Every day of my life. http://tfl.nu/2brt
  Replies (12) Good night (4704) Bad night (892)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  but she was nice to me.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  She was a fuckin STRIPPER.

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  (251): but she was nice to me. (256): She was a fuckin STRIPPER. http://tfl.nu/n11b
  Replies (25) Good night (2504) Bad night (3761)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.

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  (416): you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall. http://tfl.nu/i92r
  Replies (11) Good night (4478) Bad night (945)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.

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  (303): I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf. http://tfl.nu/kj2s
  Replies (20) Good night (7086) Bad night (882)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life

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  (412): Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life http://tfl.nu/5boh
  Replies (6) Good night (2857) Bad night (1436)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.

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  (804): God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things. http://tfl.nu/yy5y
  Replies (11) Good night (2529) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Pass the awkward sauce please.

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm drowning in it here

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  (928): My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking. (308): Pass the awkward sauce please. (928): I'm drowning in it here http://tfl.nu/qbnt
  Replies (4) Good night (1554) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.

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  (425): I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking. http://tfl.nu/k8z0
  Replies (4) Good night (1984) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.

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  (208): You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian. http://tfl.nu/g8r4
  Replies (12) Good night (2730) Bad night (675)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Another day, another engagement, another cat

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  (412): Another day, another engagement, another cat http://tfl.nu/m5x7
  Replies (1) Good night (1021) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.

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  (519): It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case. (1-519): This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms. http://tfl.nu/o2fj
  Replies (5) Good night (456) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.

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  (206): I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/0ln2
  Replies (7) Good night (2604) Bad night (433)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.

  (1-952): View more from Minnesota

  No shame December is a go.

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  (952): Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina. (1-952): No shame December is a go. http://tfl.nu/ilc6
  Replies (3) Good night (984) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs

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  (330): If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs http://tfl.nu/drl4
  Replies (2) Good night (1395) Bad night (278)

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