Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later