you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Randomize
