I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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