Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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