how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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