Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
