It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
