I hate your face
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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