Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
