it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
