it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
