in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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