We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you will always have a special place in my vag
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
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We're not piercing ourselves today.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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