Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
