i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
