How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
