Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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