You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize