can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
