i'm lost and i look like a hooker
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
