Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
