we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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