I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize