turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
