I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
