In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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