forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
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I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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