I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
