Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
