Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
