okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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