If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Panties = found
Randomize
