I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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