I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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