His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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