Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
