I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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