Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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