You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Damn victory sex feels great
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