Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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