I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
