i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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