It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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