U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Randomize
