You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
