Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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