I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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