1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
