Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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