Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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