The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
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I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
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I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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