You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
