Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
