Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
