don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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