god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
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I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.