I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?