does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
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DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.