It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
