We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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