omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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