Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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